Good evening. I am J Nash. I have been known by mistake to write on the subject of electric games. If you attempt to call me a (“Bames bournalist” – Ed) I will kick you to death one hundred and thirty-eight times in a row. I have also written on other subjects for the BBC Light Programme and certain persons, mostly by accident; elsewhere by a slightly different mistake.

In 2001 I was knocked down by an ice-cream van with a broken hooter and preserved unnoticed by a sleet of lollies, awakening five hundred hours later in an amazing space world of tomorrow that has led to thrilling adventures and exciting pauperism.

You can read things here that are by me, some previously unseen because they are new, some practically unseen because everyone who read them originally is now dead, all reliably unimpressive.

It’s technically possible to contact me for certain purposes.

Design based on (the tragically vanished) Codreanu Catalin’s Minn. Mangling underway by J Nash. Everything runs on WordPress, with a quiver of splendid plug-ins I shall now reveal in case you’ve been casting around for similar effects. (NB: plug-ins will not help with effect of making bother-defyingly incomprehensible jokes about games even their authors are no longer certain existed.)

Spam conker.

Change Admin Username
Doubles the work for any pesky interloper.

Database Back-up
Scheduled auto-saves of everything, or a convenient manually operated button. I back up after every new item, ie about once every 2.7 weeks, hobely ho-de-ho.

Delete Revisions
Bin superseded edits to save space and time (not in galactic sense).

Disguise e-mail addresses.

Excerpt Editor
Replace those annoying auto-gen “more” extracts with your own summaries. This is how I make the front page.

Get Recent Comments
For the side bit.

Raw HTML Capability (feat Text Unruiner)
For things beyond WordPress’s ken, like unimpressive item Toothbrush, and generally shutting up those trademark formatting options piecemeal when they inexplicably make all the quotation marks go wrong on one of your pages and such.

To bridge WordPress awkwardly with Perl for unimpressive item Your Game Name Here. (I hate php.)

WP Postviews
For the side bit. I’ve crudely patched v1.50 to fix the “1 views” bug. (NB: view counting added on 2010-05-22; as Or something began on 2009-11-02 and the counts naturally exclude bots and admins, the reader numbers will be underreported by at least twelve.)

WP Super Cache
The superest cache-r.

An earlier version of Or something used a Norm/Narrow/Tiny layout, peasily switchable for readers’ facial eyes via Blog-oh-Blog. (If you fancy readers redialling your whole theme, try Theme Switcher.) Tips on making a two-column item containing a picture without using tables (as seen in unimpressive items The Case-Book Of Mr Sherlock Holmes The PC and Fahrenheit Lost) by pretty reader C Armstrong, adapted from A List Apart. Mobile phone design by WP Touch, tested with iPhoney. NB: WP Touch really doesn’t like some unimpressive items, for example Toothbrush and Ryndyr. If everything’s thoroughly wonky on your phone, nip back to Norm by poking the button at the bottom of each page. Tawdry ads by Google. Tawdry accusations of ad fraud by Google. Also contains lanolin.