System Error
a B Page item by J Nash (Friday May 7th, 2010)
000 … Everything apparently fine
001 … BIOS upset you didn’t notice new outfit
002 … Robot Nazis have seized program. Please call Rocket Squad Q9
003 … Indefensible CD
004 … Destitute paperclip keyed your operation in drunken rage
005 … C: drive contains episode of Knightmare featuring Pickle the Elf
006 … Embarrassingly, stack overflow
007 … Pikestaff to lumbar
008 … Graphics card has flounced off
009 … Too many consecutive quicksaves
010 … R Tape loading error
011 … CPU was miles away
012 … Viruses outdated. Please upgrade viruses
013 … Insufficient boiler pressure
014 … Coin detected in pocket. Insert coin
015 … Unimpressive pornography found on removable media
016 … Printer irritable
017 … You attempted not to use Internet Explorer
018 … Purpose cannot be found
019 … Do what you want; serial port sick of whole thing
020 … Pressing F1 will cause poison-drenched spike to fire into eye. Press F1 to continue
021 … Suspicious opinions detected
022 … Bill Gates disapproves of this mp3
023 … Tresses unkempt
024 … Oh, what does it all mean?
025 … Dispiriting CV found in My Documents
026 … Too many MMORPG subscriptions
027 … Spite
028 … Child mismatch in stkndlo_stk.dll process 00x3h. Or something
029 … Hard drive unerased. Erasing hard drive
030 … User accustomed to pitch of fan whine
031 … Program told you once already
032 … Disillusionment over latest Id game insufficiently concealed
033 … Plug & Play did & n’t
034 … Windows can’t honestly says it cares
035 … Desktop wallpaper contains hobbits
036 … Cannot boot from A: drive. No, hang on. Never mind, too late now
037 … Browser cache forwarded to employer
038 … Flower-seller contact was compromised; theatre meeting is trap
039 … Laughable firewall detected
040 … Inexpensive peripheral shames us all
041 … Posture hideous
042 … Page of Just Seventeen left in scanner from weeks ago
043 … Program encumbered by moral conflict
044 … Your time has passed
045 … No room for copy in progress; probably ought to have mentioned this earlier but there you go
046 … Keyboard requesting wash out of simple human decency
047 … No more games left to play in MAME
048 … DVD writer is sobbing
049 … User obsolete
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